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You’ll be able to bounce back and persevere instead of quitting. 🙂 I guess I figured that most guys would turn out to be flakes.This is what’s going to pay off with a serious relationship in the long run. I did get caught once or twice building air castles, but the sooner that can be nipped in the bud, the better.You’re not really mourning the loss of a guy you never had.It’s the difference in feeling between losing a million dollars (devastating) vs.Or he could seem like a great guy, make a great effort for you, and then realize, when it’s time to commit, that he’s just not ready for a commitment.The point is that, by getting too excited about a promising dating prospect, you’re emotionally setting yourself up for heartbreak. When you choose to be devastated by a man who is NOT your boyfriend, what you’re really doing is holding onto the loss of your fantasy.There’s wit, there’s sexual innuendo, there’s instant talk about making plans. But, sure enough, when he shows up, he’s as cute as his picture. You play mini-golf and grab two rounds of drinks at a nearby bar, after which you go back to your place and make out on the couch for an hour. He knew he didn’t want to get into a long-distance relationship, and so, instead of trekking to go on a first date, he emailed Sandy to apologize and wish her well in her search for love. Even though she’d only exchanged a few emails, she’d gotten excited about this cute, successful, articulate, enthusiastic man. She started to dream about this man saving her from a life of loneliness. They really didn’t have any relationship whatsoever.You have an amazing evening, filled with easy conversation and laughter. You close the restaurant, end with a goodnight kiss, and a promise to do this again soon. In fact, you do a little more than that, but hold a little bit back. He says good night and tells you he’ll call the next day. As a result of this wishful thinking, Sandy was as hurt by this man’s simple email as she would have been if they’d been dating and broken up. She could have that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and lose sleep over how she’s going to replace him. As a result, Sandy wasn’t “losing” anything; she never had anything to lose. It’s not that Sandy was wrong to look at all the available signs and conclude that she had special connection with a special guy.
The alpha male doesn’t pick a fight, but he ends it if he’s in one. He isn’t an emotional wreck that looks for a fight at every corner. Even when he stands alone in what he believes is right, he digs his heels in and fights.18. He respects women, often because he’s had some great one’s in his life. That legacy is how he made others feel, and how he helps others accomplish their dreams.22. He doesn’t tell people how to live, but lives in the manner he sees as best to live.23.
It’s not because you’re a fool for believing that good men exist. He seemed so great, so perfect, so kind, so consistent. If this story feels familiar to you, it’s because it’s familiar to EVERYONE.
It’s not because he’s an evil human being hell-bent on destroying your self-esteem. The reason your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears is because you are SURPRISED when he disappears. Men disappearing is probably a semi-normal occurrence. And the reason it hurts so badly is simple: our expectations aren’t aligned with reality.
the feeling of NOT winning the lottery at all when you had 4 numbers (mildly irritating). When the contract is signed, the ink is dry, and you know, without a doubt, that your dating prospect has become your BOYFRIEND.
Until then, each promising man is not actually “real.” He is merely hope, potential and fantasy.